Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Red Balloons, Moonwalking and Other Mating Calling Cards

Dont you just love the animal kingdom? They have some of the most wonderfully bizzarre mating rituals. Human beings spend hours, poring over information on how to play the mating game. Not these animals, they keep it instinctual, simple. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Here are a few of my favourites.

What? I taught those Jacksons everything they know.

The Moonwalking Manakin knows how to capture the ladies attention. Don't believe me? Check out the youtube video of the Manakin bustin that famous move!

The player's burden.

The male Antechinus Stuartii loves sex. He loves sex so much he'll do it until he dies. During mating season this little Australian marsupial man dog drops everything to sleep with as many females as he can.He can spend up to 12 hours making love to one female.After they both survive it, barely. He moves onto the next, no time for meals or giving those private parts a break. No siree. When the mating season ends, the stress of being a player takes its toll. He's left with ulcers, a weak immune system and parasites come to feed. He, along with every other male will then die at the end of mating season. At least they die happy and satisfied.

Told you that Kama Sutra book came in handy.

These Bonobo monkeys like to bone. Any excuse. Sex is like a handshake,they use it as a form of greeting, to resolve conflicts and to celebrate.They also like oral sex and french kissing.They enjoy lesbian adventures and same sex wanking. If problem fixing doesn't involve sex well...They can't help you.

Impressive I know. That's how pimps roll.

Meet the Frigatebird. A male Frigatebird's throat sac(that's right throat sac) inflates into a massive, heart shaped red balloon. When the deed is done he calls the female Frigatebirds to come check him out. A female Frigatebird will mate with the male that has the largest and shiniest balloon(it's a brutal world I tell ya). When they're having sex, the male bird uses his wings to cover her eyes so she doesn't get distracted by other males with even bigger balloons!Oh the parrallels to be drawn from that!

I like to penis fence.

Sex is war for Flatworms. They are hermaphrodites, with male and female sexual organs.The male organs are dagger shaped, used for hunting and mating.When they mate two flatworms penis fence to stab each other while trying to avoid being stabbed. The loser gets stabbed and absorbs sperm through the skin.After that comes the joy of motherhood.

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