Wednesday, 10 November 2010

First Date Utterances To Keep Sealed

First dates can be a joyous thing, equally, they can be a nightmare with the wrong person. Here's my spin on things to not say on a first date.

1)No really, I think Hitler was misunderstood.

2)My ex and I had sex in the toilet here.

3)I'm weaning myself off Prozac, yeah I'm seeing the world in colour now.

4)I really think if you psychologically damage children at a younger age it makes them stronger human beings you know?

5)I didn't say you needed a nose job, it might be worth thinking about.

6)Man: Could you get this bill? I'm broke. Cheers.

7)They were assholes at my last job. I totally had my multiple personality disorder under control.

8)I met my ex through a dating/pen pals site for prison inmates.He was doing time for double murder.Maan he looked good in that prison uniform. Fuck the system!

9)Man:If you come back to my place you can meet Lolani my blow up sex doll.

10)Man:You remind me of my pet hamster Dirty Harry.It's the way you eat, it's kind of erratic.You should really do something about that.


  1. All are ridiculous, but #s 1, 2, and 8 are particularly bad.

  2. Haha, people do come out with shit like this. Somebody actually said 1 to me, not on a date though and suffice to say I distanced myself from that person.


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